kinda feel lost suddenly... aint sure wat is going on... but i am lost in my track... choices out there are much much more... would i be stuck here like this...
Things around are started to get messed up... was at home mostly the whole day.. staring at myself... asking myself this and that... till a point... why am i doing this... ever since certain things happened, i just kept walking in circle...
seems to be like a joke...I am the joke... many things just seem to reflect back to me... even right now... the things i wan to blog out aint really coming out... i am feeling so trapped... trapped in the world i made... where is the key??? It is just outside the window.... but i cannot reach it myself... would there be someone to help me... Pls.....
Recently.. i had a dream.... was about a family.... wif my face in it.... but as the dream goes on slowly... i drifted out of the picture.... further and further away..... no matter how hard and fast i tried to run... it just aint getting any closer.... slowly, i saw my mum face........ that was the final straw......
broke down totally.... crushed by the picture and brought down hard on the floor.... I cried.....
Late nites.... without sleep...
memories faded slowly... looking forward to the very new day when i had yet to finish the late troubled nite as i am going through again now....
Thought i had already faced it again and again... but..... like some people say.... i just aint as strong as i looked....
i act like a kid....
i wan to be like a baby...
i wan.... just wat do i wan????
sniff ~ ~
sadness filled my nose again.............
i slapped myself hard today.... come to sense man.... yet again... the pain added a smile... the smile i used to hang on... just as fake....
Let me be.....
my world is trapped...
who will i allowed ??
allowed to open the door to the world of mine...
trust me... it aint easy.... those who have tried know it....
I was slowly made to be a loner... not wat i wanted.. but den again... it might just be wat i was suppose to be in the first place....
i miss the blue sky.......
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